I Did Everything For You. I'll Do Anything For You.

I made a huge mistake. I stopped reading Cosmo.

No but really I just did too many things that a "good girlfriend" doesn't do. Like becoming way too comfortable with her boyfriend. Don't brush your teeth together. Be sexy as much as possible. I was too comfortable. In my silly pjs. Not enough hot lingerie. Damn you Cosmo.

Living together is harder than it seems. For friends too, not just couples. It's just hard. Seeing someone day in and day out. There was no mystery to our relationship. It was all out and we saw every side of each other. There were times when I wasn't completely sexually attracted to him. There wasn't anything new. It was wonderful and I love him but it was all the same. I want to be with him one day again because I love him more than I've loved anyone else. I can't see my life without him but at the same time I can't picture myself sitting around waiting. I'm just going to go about my business and if someone comes along that I like, I'll take that chance. But I am certainly not going to go out looking for a relationship. I am not ready for that and I don't want one without Ethan. I can see myself dating but not a relationship. Not yet.

Logan said some pretty nice things when I was hanging out with him and it made me feel like a better person. I just told him, "I am awesome!" and I believed it. I really believe it. So guess what? I'm awesome and I'm promising myself that I won't sit around and wait but at the same time, I am not searching for it either.
.Stephanie.