For Every Loveless Night, She Waits...

I saw Jill. She made me feel better. I'm sitting alone at home. It's hard. I cried. I didnt cry all last night or this morning but I did just now. I'm alone in the house and he's not coming back. I think this is hard because I just wanted a chance. 48 hours is not a chance. Brad didn't give me a chance at long distance when he went to college. And Ethan isn't giving me a chance to get better. I want to stop worrying. If I had known in the beginning that it was really hurting the relationship, I could've worked on it. Something happened between Thursday, when he brought me bagels at work, told me he was starting to love me again, we went out to dinner... we were together. And then he went to the Rialto party (that I should have gone to) and slept on the futon when he got home. There was a definite change and I know why but it hurts so much to know it.
I can't think about anything else. Why couldn't we talk about it and get through it? Why did he try to do it over the phone? Why didn't he love me enough to try?
.Stephanie.