Can You Tell Me Why You've Been So Sad?

I feel so tired and worthless and helpless and I don't even really know why. I don't feel like there is anything going for me right now. I'm not doing any plays, I can't be with Ethan the way I want to be, I MIGHT BE FUCKING PREGNANT, all I look forward to is school and work and doing hopefully fun things on the weekend and when I will get to hang out with Ethan again and I feel so lame and pathetic. Not even just about Ethan, just about everything. I go to work and I work with Scott which is really cool because he's fun to work with and he's nice and everything and then I go to school and it's alright.
I just still feel so high school sometimes. Like, well I tried to sort of break off my friendship with Jeff and I feel like people hate me now because of it. Well, not the people that are also irritated by him, but the ones like Maddie who are friends with him. I don't know what to do because while he makes me feel like shit all the time, everytime I talk to him, I still feel bad. WHY DO I FEEL BAD? I feel like screaming.
This is such a lame post too, but I can't help it.
I felt really sick when I got home from work this morning and I told my mom and she just put her head in her hands and said 'shit'. I felt like crying. Mischa told me all this information about abortions and I just felt like puking. I really don't want to be pregnant. I really don't want people who read this to start judging me. I really wish people didn't read this sometimes.
I really hope I just have a cold.
I really want to cry.
I don't have to work tomorrow. Thank god.