When You Get So Close I Run And Hide.

Fuck my emotions. I don't know what the hell I want. You know what I want? To be single. I just want to be single. I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't want to feel like shit everytime I hang out with him. I don't want to feel like I'm staying in the relationship so I don't hurt his feelings. I like him, I do. But I can't do this. I can't stay with him. It's just a really unhealthy thing to do. I found out about Sarah. It made me feel like shit and I don't even know why. I guess I know how Ethan felt that night up off of Anadel Heights. It's probably unreasonable for me to feel that way too. I guess I just realize that... wow. Jeff's not Ethan. But it's not even like I need Ethan right now. I just... it's still like when Summer kissed that guy on New Years and she's like 'You're not Seth Cohen.' That's how I feel when Jeff and I have sex. Wow. I really need to talk to Jeff. Now.