And I Can Tell You My Love For You Will Still Be Strong After The Boys Of Summer Have Gone.

I broke up with Jeff. Then we got back together. God. I feel the need to explain myself for this. When I'm 'with' Jeff it makes Ethan sad. When I'm not 'with' Jeff it makes Jeff sad. No matter what I do, I'm screwed. I probably should just do what makes ME happy right? Yeup. So that's what I'm doing I think. For now. Granted, if I could be with Ethan, I'd be with Ethan. But we both know that now is not the time for that. Jeff really really likes me. And I really like Jeff too. Regardless of what everyone thinks. I do actually like Jeff, if I didn't I wouldn't have ever gone out with him right? And having a relationship may seem stupid, but it works for me. I don't really like the idea of just hooking up with whoever. Dillon knows what I mean. I mean, sure it would be awesome to just go around hooking up with whoever I want but it doesn't make me feel like a good person and I like the attention that I get from one person. Jeff actually gives me the attention I usually want in a relationship too, it's just too bad that sometimes I don't always want it from him.

So, I'm staying with Jeff. At least 'til the end of the summer. I'm not going to fall in love with him but when we're hanging out and we're not 'together' it just feels weird and wrong. He knows all about Ethan too, so it's not like he wasn't warned. I love Ethan. I always will. And someday, Ethan and I will be together. For a very long time. I would find it wrong and weird to just be hook up buddies with him. We have so much more than that. And we're better than that. Even though when we do hook up... it's great. Like you can feel the emotions that are being poured into it. It's amazing. So, Ethan, I love you, and I always will and with summer ending my love for you will still be strong, after the boys of summer have gone. ( wow that was cheesy. heh. *darah laugh*.... I still don't know about her. loosing train of thought. goodbye.)