Teenage Lovers Between The Sheets.

Okay. So posting that last post was a good and bad idea. It had a hand in braking me and Ethan up for the final time but it also was a good thing that I posted it. I didn't hold anything back. I laughed, I cried, I yelled. All in all, I'm happy and sad. I'm relieved and not. I want Ethan back because I love him. I don't want him back because I guess I'm needier than I thought I was. Mainly in affection. I like to know it. All the time. So I guess that's hard for him. And I was right about Darah. Not the cheating. But he did like her.

So the good thing is that Ethan and I are still best friends and we even have the 'mama bed' together, which no one else gets. But having that makes me a little bit sad. Just because we'll be there in the bed, holding each other, and I can't even be with him. I'm with him, but not WITH him. But I still want to do it because I can't NOT do it. I love it too much. I love him too much.

And that brings me to the problem I have now. Brad is back. And he wants a relationship. I just don't think I want one. I don't want to be tied down right now. I just want to be able to experience new things and I haven't been single for a while. I could have a boyfriend if I really wanted one. But I don't think I do. The only guy I would want is Ethan. And I can't have that. So that's that. For now, I shall remain single.