This Thing Between You And Me Might Not Be Anything Worth Singing About.

So I have a definite problem. Now, before I start talking about this, this is one of those entries where, if you are special enough to even have this webaddress, you must not talk about this with anyone else. It would be disrespectful to me, and I would be very upset if anyone went around talking about this behind my back, whether it's good or bad. The only person you are allowed to talk about this to is me.

That said, I have a problem. I think I have a slight slight case of Nymphomania. I mean, I don't have sex with random people, making it a slight case for certain but I think about sex a lot. I have had sex with all three of my boyfriends outside of the relationship, I almost devirginized another guy a few nights ago, I have gone from having sex with one guy to the next to the next back to the other and back and forth and back and forth and it's insane! I just can't say no. And most of the time, I don't want to say no. There is so much more that I want to say and describe and I know that I shouldn't. It's just crazy. I feel sort of helpless. It's not even the sex really, it's mostly the company. Well I mean, God knows I love sex and all but when it comes down to it, I really just enjoy people. I love people. I have an obsession with them and what they think and how they work and the human body. I think that's why I've been thinking about girls and how I wouldn't mind hooking up with a girl, just because. Not to please a guy or anything like that. I just love people.

And obviously there's Ethan and I love him most of all, so anything with him I can't stop myself from doing. It just feels so incredibly right and wonderful. Sometimes I miss him a lot. Other times I just know that being more apart from him is alright. I know it won't change anything. But all in all, I just feel crazy. I feel out of control and weird and sort of numb to the situation. Like it honestly doesn't bother me very much but I worry about hurting other people. I also have to endure talks from other people who I tell by choice and listen to their views and I just can't change. And I'm a naturally flirty person so sometimes I worry that other girls (or guys) get angry with me. I kind of don't know what to do. I wish I wasn't going to Berkeley again tomorrow so that Ethan could do another drop by. Oh well. And remember, PLEASE don't discuss this with anyone other than me.