I Think I'd Be Good For You. And You, You'd Be Good For Me.
So I went to dinner at Olive Garden tonight with my mom, Kim, and Gary (not Jason) and everything was well until I mentioned something that Ethan had said to me over the weekend that was really nice and I got the usual roll of the eyes and my mom said "he sure is playing around with you." and then Gary agreed. I sat there stunned. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked and upset and I didn't know what to do so I just stared for five minutes while they carried on the conversation as normal. I was SO angry at them I couldn't believe it. Why can't people just be happy for me? Why do they have to take out their insecurities on me ALL THE TIME? And why can't it be true. Why can't Ethan love me? Why is that hard for EVERYONE to believe? I mean, it's been taking me so long to just learn to believe it myself and now I do and then people like Dillon or Ryan or Lauren or Gary or MY MOM have to go and shatter it. FUCK YOU. All you of. I'm so fucking pissed right now. I sat there and then I cried. I cried at my own birthday dinner. I felt like a fool but I couldn't do anything about it. I hate people. I hate insecure fucking people who have bad relationships and cant just be happy for me. I'm so...
over it.
posted by Stephanie @ 10:10 PM
4 Comments:
I just think they don't want to see you get hurt.
well they're doing a good job of hurting me anyway.
Not to be rude to Gary or whoever, but the only people who should be worrying about you and Ethan's relationship are:
You
and
Ethan.
It doesn't matter if it's a so-called mistake or not. If it's a "mistake" you feel is worth making, then make it, dammit. It's the way you feel, and don't let other people try to change the way you feel.
And by the way, you're coming to my Harry Potter party in a couple of weeks. Just a heads up.
its ok im not mad at you either i just get really frustrated with other people (not just you) sometimes because we havent gotten in a real fight in a while. its mostly just when one of us hooks up with someone else and it fucking sucks and we know it but thats it. and we dont have sex as much as you think. and sorry that my blog is 'stupid' to you but i dont think it is because its just how i felt. so i guess i just need to learn to not care what others think (which is hard but im trying) and stop talking about it to other people.
i love you too dillon, you're one of my best friends and i wouldnt ever give that up. not that easily.
love, stephanie
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