And I Have Known Love Like A Whore. From At Least Ten-Thousand More.

I really want to move out. It's not that I want to leave my mom and Kim or anything like that. I like this house. I did all of high school here. I mean, I don't think about it as much as my old house. I never dream about this house, it's always the other one, but I still like it. I just feel ready now. Billiejoe offered me the roommate position and I want to take it but I have no money. My mom doesn't have much money to give me this year, only if there was more than one person. I would be willing to share a room with someone. I think. I'm pretty sure anyway. My dad won't... wait cancel that, CAN'T give me anymore because he is Jimmy Cooper and he is bankrupt. Jimmy Cooper is my father. And he is married to Julie Cooper with a dog named Cocoa Puff.

Basically I just can't wait until next year. I just want to move out, have a new place to live and put my stuff and decorate and share with other people. I want to live in the Elliot Apartments. They remind me of dorms sort of. I want to get over this school year because I feel bored with it. I know there are some things to look forward to like Homecoming and Football and St. Babs and New Years but meh. It feels like the beginning of last year all over again. Like when I was waiting for Brad. Waiting to see if I'd still be in love with him when the year was over. I wasn't. And by the end of the year I had found someone new and it was hard to believe I ever felt that way about him ever. I mean, I love him, but when I look back I just don't remember what it felt like. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm waiting for something. I just want those somethings to happen. I want to like what my life is like now. But I kind of don't. I'm bored.