Lovin' A Music Man Ain't All That It's Supposed To Be.

(haha I love Journey.)

Ethan is home! I felt sort of bad for crying to him like every phone call but I guess they came home because their van wasn't going to make it in the heat of Texas/New Mexico and Dillon's amp broke. Apparently there was smoke coming out of it! Crazy.
But I now have the best news ever!!!! I'm going to Disneyland in less than a week! AHHHHH!!!!
Ok, I was supposed to wait until my birthday but Ethan came home and he sold his car to the government and now we want to go. So on Sunday after I get off work we are going! I'm so excited I can barely contain myself.
Micky Mouse pancakes, here I come!
.Stephanie.

Come Back To Bed.

I miss Ethan sooooo much. It's terrible. If I'm not keeping myself busy and hanging out with people or doing stuff then I get really sad. It's pathetic in a way but I just miss him so much. It's been like 3 days! I still have over two weeks! I feel awful because I've asked him (crying) to come home like since the day he left and I shouldn't because it's so completely selfish and he says he wishes he could but I know he's having fun. And he should. It's an amazing experience not matter how hot it is in Texas.
I just wish I could have gone! I really really wanted to go and because I'm the only other worker at the store, I can't. It kinda sucks in that way. I was looking so forward to it. But I just wish he was here. I don't want him to leave me anymore. I'm not ready for it or something. I just recently started getting over how hurt and horrible last summer was for me. I seriously am getting over it. Ever since I actually got to express my feelings about it, I've felt a million times better. I just feel ready to move on from it. But I didn't want him to leave. I'm afraid of him dying or something. I don't want to have to speak at his funeral. I don't know if I could. I know that must be ridiculous but I have no rational feelings. I just want him to come home and skip his tour and be here. I don't like my big room all to myself. It's big and lonely and scary and I'm sad when I go to sleep.
I don't know what else to say except I want him home. So bad. I hate Texas. Come home.
.Stephanie.

The Startling Absence of Motive It Won't Cause Sway.

Alright. I have internet again! And I live in my new house! It's pretty crazy. I like it. No parents! Not that that was ever a huge problem for me anyway.

So I've just been working and staying at my house. It's nice but I wish I didn't live so out of the way. I used to be able to leave my house, drive somewhere, come back, drive somewhere, come back, ect... and now if I leave I have to feel like I'm doing something. Multiple tasks or something. It's just a waste of gas I think. But that is life. Big house, more gas. Or something.
I don't know what's wrong with me but I've been feeling tired all the time. Like when I get off work, I'm so tired, even though I'm not doing much. I've almost fallen asleep at work before. And getting up is fine. In the morning, it's not too hard to wake up. It's just staying awake the rest of the day. I don't know what's wrong.

Randomly, I realized that I totally love comic book movies. Like Spiderman, Batman, Superman, X-Men. Also the graphic novel ones too. And I like big blockbuster-y movies anyway. Like Pirates of the Caribbean. I saw it again with my mom yesterday and I liked it so much better the second time. I love the ending.

I want to watch more LOST (wow I'm basically just talking about stuff and nothing really in particular). I'm in the middle of second season and it's getting so good. I love it. We just finished another Kate one. She's so cool. I wish I looked like her. She's gorgeous. She has funny teeth though. I'll keep my teeth, thank you. Or Shannon. She looks like a bitch but I think she's so pretty. I find myself wishing I looked like other people all the time. It's probably not a good thing. I don't hate the way I look. There are just things that bother me. But for now, I shall keep my face and continue watching LOST. J.J. Abrams is seriously my hero for making the best shows on TV.
.Stephanie.