Cause The World Keeps Spinning 'Round and 'Round and My Heart's Keeping Time To The Speed Of Sound

I just wanted people to go see a scary movie with me because I thought it would be fun to go in a big group and everyone was down at first and then people started chickening out and Billiejoe wouldn't go unless Ethan went which made Logan and Tyler not go and then everyone else thought other movies were better and I couldn't even bribe Ethan with a FREE ticket because he's got to go to The Shop which is the WORST venue ever and it's cold and boring and even though The Grand Color Crayon is good, he's going to see them every single night over the summer on tour and it's not like he couldn't say he couldn't go because that guy bailed on him before too! There's still good people going and Jeff Doyle is my new date but it was ridiculous. It's a fucking movie and I just wanted everyone to have fun and go and get scared but everyone's gotta follow the leader which is obviously not me.
.Stephanie.

I Like U Crazy.

Saw Mates of State last night. It was hella bomb except that near the end I started feeling really sick (maybe because I ate roast beef and I don't eat red meat anymore. It made me sick) so I had to sit down and then I watched the encore from the balcony, but it was still really cool. They're just awesome and Kori is just so cute when she's dancing and making faces at Jason. Cuties.
Tonight I'm seeing Silent Hill (AHHH) at 9:50. If anyone else is down to go, meet at 5 to get tickets early. Seriously, though, 5 o'clock. I won't wait around. I'm just getting them and leaving. But the movie is later and we'll all meet up early to get seats. I know that Julia, Nick B., Erin, and Quinn are down for sure. Everyone else lemme know!
.Stephanie.

These Words Are All I Have, So I Write Them.

Haven't really written in a bit. I was in New York and that was great. Not gonna go into the details though because I've just done it so many times, hehe. And I wrote those blogs about it. But it was great and I loved it. I'd love to go back and see more shows.

I'm finally over the jetlag. It was weird for a couple days because I was tired and awake 3 hours earlier or later than usual. It was also good to see Ethan yesterday. I missed him so much. We were very lazy yesterday and watched the first two discs of Desperate Housewives which Ethan is now addicted to. Which is awesome because it's a great show.

I wrote an email to a lady today that I found on the JC job website. She needs a nanny for a few days out of the week and I would drive them to school, doctor's appointments, even stay overnight sometimes. It sounds fun. She has two boys, 6 and 12, and I would be getting $10 an hour, which is fine with me! I really hope that goes through. I need a job asap now that school is ending and I owe my mom like 1500 dollars from my computer, ipod, the trip and other such things. Phew. At least she said I didn't need to hurry.
.Stephanie.

Let Me Believe That You Believe In Me.

I'm back from New York! Well I think most people read my lil bulletins about it and I don't feel like going over it again except that the shows were my favorite part! Avenue Q was the best ever!
Ok, so... otherwise I'm just really tired and jetlagged and hungry. I want Mazatlan! Last night I had weird dreams. About scary stuff kinda. The first was a Silent Hill dream (from seeing all those goddamn commercials and posters all over New York!) and I was in a video game where there were 5 levels I had to pass and they kept getting harder and scarier each time. So then I forced myself to wake up. It was just too hard.
The second dream was me and ALL of my friends. Seriously everyone was there. And we were all in my backyard at my old house and we were all trying to live. There were certain people (that I didn't know) trying to kill all of us and people were dying left and right and Allie died and Ethan died. There were different rounds and I kept winning and living and I was running around and dodging bullets and knives all over the place. It was crazy. Then I "won" and lived and I went over to Ethan and everyone got up. Like it was all a game. But I got freaked out and talked to Ethan and he was totally okay. It was crazy but it was weird and scary while it was happening. I remember holding up a box of cereal when someone tried to shoot me and it was a big box and i threw it in the way of the bullet and dove away. And the cereal box exploded. I have weird dreams I've decided.
.Stephanie.

Is There Some Kind Of Idea To Replace (Erase?) My Life?

I am in love with Felicity Huffman. She's just amazing. I first saw her in Transamerica because I didn't watch Desperate Housewives then, but I loved her in it. I wanted her to win Best Actress over all of them. Even stupid Reese Witherspoon who had to go and look all cute and be convincing as June Carter. But Felicity was just so wonderful. She was so convincing and inspiring and I hate it when girls like Hilary Fluff and Lindsay Sluthan go and look all beautiful in every movie they make and their hair and makeup is perfect and they are so not convincing as a struggling actress/singer/whatever lame thing they're trying to be. And they definitely don't pull off unpopular. Give me a break. They wouldn't know unpopluar if it ripped out their bellybutton rings. Felicity Huffman reminds me of Charlize Theron in Monster. Like she's not afraid to look bad if it will get the message across and really make for a great performance. And she's beautiful too:


She may be a bit mannish (but so is Jennifer Garner and I still love her) but maybe that's the kind of girl I'm attracted to. The mannish ones, hehe...
Here's her most mannish look:


And she's married to William H. Macy who just rocks. She's my favorite on Desperate Housewives because she's so convincing and sad and beautiful and unhappy and hilarious and the exact kind of mom I want to be. Maybe not with her kids though because they drive her nuts and they would drive me nuts too if they were my kids. So, I officially love Felicity Huffman.
.Stephanie.

There's More Important Things Than Hearing You Speak.

I made such a long post on my weekend and the fun that was had at the Kiss Me Kate cast party but it all got deleted so I am SUPER sad. I HATE when that happens. Alright, so I'm writing my big ol' term paper for Political Science. It's on Holly's Law which is an abortion pill that has killed like 10 women and injured some 840. It's pretty weird and it's all Republican and such and I'm not a Republican so I keep getting all flustered with their ideas. And Bush, well, he can just pretty much suck it for all I care. What an asshole.
Ok so I guess since I don't have that much to say now, I will sign off and finish the last page of my essay. I'm 3 and a half in so I need about 1 more page. Oh how I love filler words and bullshit. Hey, I totally passed English 1A with a B+ so BOOYAH.
Ethan also left today for like 12 days! GAH. Good thing I'm going to New York on Saturday. Oh how soon it is. I need to get all my stuff together.
.Stephanie.

Honey You A Rock Upon Which I Stand. I Come Here To Talk, I Hope You Understand.

I've been kissed on... or kissed. Or just kissing WHATEVER.

01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [x] on their hands.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] the opposite sex.
07. [x] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little bit younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [x] with black hair
11. [x] with brown hair
12. [x] blonde hair
13. [x] with red hair
14. [ ] with a tounge ring.
15. [ ] shorter than me.
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [x] who I truly love/loved
18. [x] who was drunk.
19. [x] who was high.
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [x] who I had just met.
25. [x] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] we were just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall/fence
31. [x] in a hotel
32. [x] at the beach.
33. [x] at a concert.
34. [x] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [x] in the rain/snow.
37. [x] with a stud
39. [x] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [x] in the movies.
41. [x] in a bathroom/laundry room.
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [x] under water.
45. [x] while they/you were driving
46. [xsorta] a stranger
47. [x] more than one person at once.
48. [x] crying
49. [x] goodbye forever
50. [x] when I was drunk.
51. [x leo spoke pretty well...] who didn't speak english (not very good english)
52. [x] in a hot tub
53. [x] upside down

I'm a slut!!! Actually not. (Ashley Gnoss.) If anyone gets that, I'm proud.
Alright, lovely survey, maybe I should post who everyone was. Or not. There's really not THAT many. I figured it out! I've kissed eleven guys since the 6th grade. C'mon, that's not THAT bad. So now I'm going to go watch Desperate Housewives because I like that one now too. Great, I'm such a nerd. Maddie told me to go read a book and I laughed at her because I'm almost done with Valley of the Dolls and I just read American Psycho so don't tell me to go read. I read a lot. I also watch DVDs. Because that's how I roll.
.Stephanie.

Where, Oh Where, Have The Smart People Gone?

My sleeping habits are so off lately. I thought they were getting better because I was waking up at 8, 9, or 10 everyday (even weekends!) and I was going to bed at like midnight but now I can't get to sleep 'til almost 1:30 and I get up later than 10 if I can. It's so weird. I thought it was becoming so good but now I just feel fucked up again. My mom says it's because I go in my room around 8 and just lay around on the internet or reading and then it keeps me from getting tired. Oh boo. What to do?
At least good cartoons are on late like South Park, Aqua Teen, Family Guy, or Home Movies. Hella bomb.
Oh and by the way, if anyone hasn't seen Howl's Moving Castle yet, do it. Seriously it's my favorite movie right now and I rented it to watch with Ethan for one of his 'picks' but I ended up watching it THREE TIMES! It's amazing. I LOVE it. I want to rent Spirited Away again so I can remember it better.

When You Ask Me What I Want This Year And I Try To Make It Kind And Clear.

So I'm kind of having a hard time in school. Like at this point I just hope I pass my classes. But the one class I hate most is MATH. I can't stand it. I just can't. I have never liked math. It's just the absolute worst class for me. I can't understand the easy concepts but when it comes to harder stuff I can do it? WTF?!?!? And since the easy things are in every problem I fuck it up in some way. I am just horrible at it. I know I have to do it someday but I hate it right now. It's not math time. It probably never will be but I need summer. I need a break. I need to drop my math class. GAH. It makes me aggravated and worried and stressed out all the time. I think it's the cause for my downfall in my other classes. Honestly I sound like I'm making this into a bigger deal than it is but to me.... I don't know what to do. It's so much work and every single day I have to go and I've missed a lot because of how much I hate it and I want to wait. Again. Another semester. I realized I'll have to be at the JC for three years anyway and I hate hella slots to fill with classes so it's ok if I have to repeat it.
Ok. I need to. That's IT. I know people will think I'm a slacker or a loser or unrational but to me it makes sense. I need to wait again. FOUR CLASSES IS A LOT. It really really is. Especially when you have lab to go along with it.
Whew. I feel a little better. I can still get a W until the 29th. K.
.Stephanie.

Let's Unravel The Edge Of Time.

HAPPY!


(for Ethan)

Your Hands Are Mine To Hold.

I am needy now. I am needy for my Ethan. He is leaving on Wednesday for tour. For so long. He'll be back for a couple days but then he's gone for a long-o time.
I can't sleep right now. I almost went downstairs to make myself something yummy. I still might do that. I want to go drive around or something. I want to watch a movie. I watch Howl's Moving Castle again today. I love it. It's so good. Maggie watched it with me and she really liked it too. Because it's magic and that's how Maggie and I roll.
What should I do? I could read. I guess. I just wish Ethan had the kind of energy I have right now so he could come over. Ok, it's late-ish. Enough bitching for tonight.
.Stephanie.