So last time I wrote in this I said that I missed Dan. It's such a weird weird feeling. Like, sometimes I miss him but mostly because he just paid a lot of attention to me and said really nice things all of the time but other times I don't miss him at all and I know that overall I'm happy I didn't continue it until it became a serious thing. I feel really bad about it sometimes and I don't even know why. Like, he's okay with it. He still sends me messages saying nice things but he's expressed that he's completely okay with it. Even knowing that, I still feel a little bad about it. Especially cause he tries to hang out (although the last two times I was able to and then something came up on his part) and usually I can't.
I think I'm just a big worrier. I worry a lot about a lot of things. I even worry about Jeff Doyle who drives me up a wall most of the time. I've finally come to understand him and he says he's learning to understand everything that's going on in his life that makes him so unhappy all of the time. But he won't just go and see a psychologist, which is what he needs most. But aside from that I worry about other things too. I worry about school and work and most of all, I worry about Ethan. Suprise suprise. I don't know what it is! I need to just stop and relax. But on the otherhand, maybe I don't need to stop and relax. Sometimes I forget that he actually does care about me. Maybe it's all the teasing, not that that really bothers me because I DO think it's funny, I guess sometimes I would like to hear the other stuff as well. Like, do you ever want to kiss me? Because that's takes up a lot of my thought process. I don't write these to make him feel bad, I just do it because I have to or I go crazy.
